


Forgetting familiarity

by Sugarymemes



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Amnesia, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Injury, Concussions, Female Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, Forgetting, Gen, Injury, Injury Recovery, Major Character Injury, Making pidge suffer, Memory Loss, Pidge is injured, Voltron whump, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-23
Updated: 2017-06-05
Packaged: 2018-10-23 01:19:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,055
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10709136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sugarymemes/pseuds/Sugarymemes
Summary: She gave a shuddering inhale and exhale, as she desperately tried to collect her thoughts, grasp them back, as they seemed to keep falling through her fingers.Pidge has always prided herself on her ability to remember. When a traumatic brain injury causes her to forget, nothing seems to make sense anymore. Surely you can't forget something that you can't remember?





	1. The trauma

A dull pain throbbed on the left side of Pidge's head. The tight helmet kept enough pressure on it so that it didn't interfere much, but it was still uncomfortable. She prayed that she wasn’t concussed or that there wasn't a visible wound - she had too much work to do and it couldn't be compromised. Not yet. Not now.

Green gave a low rumble, shifting Pidge out of her thoughts, prompting her to listen in to the comms.  
"-Alright guys, great work out there today. That was a tough battle."

The black paladin's compliments were met with a cheerful whoop from Lance, and a smug snort from Keith, as well as an incredibly relieved sigh from Hunk.  
"We'll do a quick survey of the area, just to make sure that we haven't missed anything. You all doing okay? Anyone injured?" 

Met with reassuring murmurs from the team, Shiro leaned back in his seat.  
"Right then-"  
Hunk's voice suddenly chipped in across the comms, in a harsh whisper.

"Pidge, didn't you get hit?" He asked, his voice wavering slightly with anxiety.

"Hunk!" She exclaimed in defence, as the others started clamouring about Pidge's wellbeing, leaving her to respond with a irritated groan.

"Oh, whoops, sorry. That was meant to be on the private line..." Hunk muttered, trailing off as he read the tenseness of the situation, as well as Pidge's distinct irritation.

"Pidge, are you hurt?"

"Where'd you get hit?"

"Are you okay? Do you need to go into the pods?"

The other paladins shot questions at her so fast, it made her head spin. She shut her eyes tightly.   
Quiznak - maybe it was a concussion.

"She got hit on the head by a rock when we were getting the civilians out." Hunk voluntarily gave away the information of Pidge's condition without any prompting, triggering another groan from Pidge, trying to get him to shut up.

"A rock?!" Lance sputtered out in shock, with clear concern for the younger paladin.

"Pidge, did you have your helmet on? Are you injured?" Shiro inquired, also with concern. Head injuries were nothing to sniff at, and Pidge wasn't one to readily give up information about her injuries. The others all remembered the broken ribs debacle.

"It was a pebble! Not a rock!" Pidge exclaimed indignantly. "And I was cleaning the dust of my visor-"

"You didn’t have your helmet on?" Lance squeaked out, shifting forward in his seat, practically yelling into his helmet. Keith gave a low whistle. He was concerned about the green paladin as well, but it was probably more enjoyable to make fun of mother hen Lance.

"Pidge, it was like, the size of a fist." Hunk supplied, in a matter of factly tone, as Shiro desperately tried to get a read on Pidge's vitals, praying that nothing was seriously wrong. She was awake - she was responding - surely she wasn't that badly injured?

"Whose fist? My fist or Pidge's fist? Cause her fist is like, microscopic." Lance asked, in a strangely serious tone, as Keith tried to surpress a snicker. Shiro desperately wanted to bombard Hunk with questions - what kind of rock? How'd she get hit? Was she bleeding? Was she okay? The space father needed to know the wellbeing of the paladins - he was basically responsible for the four teenagers after all.

"Your fist." Hunk answered.

"It was not!" Pidge shot back defensively.

"Yeah, you're right. It was more the size of MY fist." He responded, with a sprinkling of smugness to his voice.

Pidge was lost for words in her fury (and also her pain, funnily enough, anger didn't help it that much), as Lance gasped, and Shiro gritted his teeth.

"Right, we're going back to the castle."  
Not giving anyone time to protest, he continued with an authoritative "Now."  
The other lions slinked off back to the castle behind Shiro and the black lion, where Allura and Coran had been preparing the med bay and the mention of the word 'injured.'

As soon as they'd landed in the hangar, Green's mouth had already fallen open and the ramp had been formed, allowing the other paladins to rush over to Pidge as she gave the green lion a quick check over.

Upon seeing what Green had done, Pidge leaned back in her chair, shutting her eyes and covering her face with her hands, counting down the ticks until-

"Pidge!"

-That.

Allura rushed up to the green lion, Coran following suit. She knew how fragile humans could be, especially their heads and chests which housed their most important organs, which were not very well protected. She supposed that humans probably weren't built for these kinds of escapades, but pushed the thought out of her mind as the hangar doors opened and the other paladins ran in, still in full paladin armour.

Allura headed up the ramp into the cockpit, kneeling down next to Pidge. She looked frighteningly pale, and Allura tried to pull her hands away from her face only to be met with a low groan and a tug back.

"I'm fine." Pidge grumbled. Without the motion of green, everything felt strangely still, and the pain of her head injury was starting to rear it's ugly head. Instead of the dull throbbing that there had been before, it felt harsh and angry. The adrenaline was wearing off, and she really, really didn't want to open her eyes and face the bright lights.

"I'm going to take your helmet off, okay?" Allura murmured in a soothing tone. Pidge nodded slightly, then realised how much of an awful idea that was. She felt a presence behind her, and suddenly cool hands fell onto her shoulders. She guessed that was probably Shiro, and for a second she was lost in her thoughts, until she was rudely interrupted by her helmet being yanked off.

"Augh!" She exclaimed, bitterly, removing her hands from her face, and pressing them to the side of her head. Bad idea. The sudden contact stung immensely, and Pidge immediately removed her hands, whimpering slightly.

She looked down at them, only to see that they were coated in a red, sticky, substance. Oh, quiznak. Oh, quiznak she was bleeding. Quiznak, quiznak, quiznak.

A cool, damp cloth was placed on the wound. It stung, but it was also more comforting than anything else had been.

"Put your hand there." Allura commanded, and Pidge obliged, pressing her hand on the cloth. A bright light suddenly filled her vision and Pidge quickly squeezed her eyes shut and flinched. She was tired. And her head hurt.   
"Too bright." She mumbled, backing away from the light.

"It's just Coran, he needs to check your eyes."   
Shiro's hands squeezed her shoulders comfortingly.  
"Too bright." She repeated again, this time opening her eyes slightly, her eyelids fluttering at the bright light as it shone in her left eye, then her right, then her left again. 

"Bit wider, please." Pidge opened her eyes as wide as she could get them, her vision blurry, the moving light making her feel nauseous.  
"What's your name?" The bright light asked. What a strange question to be asking her.  
"What?"  
"How old are you?"  
"Is this really necessary?"

The bright light suddenly clicked off, and Pidge blinked rapidly, her eyes adjusting. He vision settled and a very stressed older man with an orange mustache came into view.

"Please just answer the questions, number five."

Pidge nodded slowly, as the man backed away slightly, before rising to his feet. She felt so tired. Her mind felt foggy and her head throbbed.  
"Which lion do you pilot?"

Pidge looked down at her hand, which was limply resting on her lap. It was still covered in that bright, sticky, coppery smelling substance the colour of which was:  
"Uh, red?" She asked, uncertainly, as she heard someone inhale sharply behind her.

Truth be told, she was very unsure. Her mind seemed to be failing her and she didn't seem able to search through her memories like a database as she had before. She didn't really know what was going on. She was very confused at all of these people as she desperately tried to match names to faces.

"Pidge, please try to take this seriously. We just want to make sure that you don't have a concussion." The voice behind her was smooth, yet edged with anxiety and stress.

Pidge's heart almost seemed to skip a beat. Was that not right? Did she have a concussion? What was going on? She gave a shuddering inhale and exhale, as she desperately tried to collect her thoughts, grasp them back, as they seemed to keep falling through her fingers.

Her concentration was interrupted by a harshly whispered "Is she okay?" From a voice that she didn't recognise. Her neat database of information seemed to have been split into messy fragments which blurred into each other creating a bank of useless information.

A pressure was lifted from her shoulders, and another figure shifted into view - along with an air of familiarity that quickly seemed to fade. The figure crouched down in front of her, as Pidge struggled to keep her eyes focused on the form.

"Pidge, do you know who I am?"

She opened her mouth to answer, but the harder she thought, the more she forgot. Nothing seemed to make any sense and it was infuriating. Her head hurt, she was dizzy, and she was so tired and she was trying so goddamn hard to remember.

"Pidge?" The figure prompted again, waiting for an answer that Pidge couldn't give. Her mind was desperately trying to fill in the gaps but she was in a lot of pain and none of the questions made any sense.

She felt a pang in her chest.

She couldn't remember any of the questions.

"I - What?" She managed to stagger out, as blurred figures shifted in her peripheral vision.

"Do you remember who I am?"

"I -" She furrowed her brow, desperately trying to remember, but the motion hurt her head. Why did her head hurt? Why couldn't she answer any of her questions - let alone theirs?

Before she'd even decided to speak, her mouth was already open and spitting out the words that no one wanted to hear.

"No. I'm sorry. I - I don't think so." She mumbled softly, as she saw the figure look visibly taken aback. She heard a few murmurs from behind her, including a 'Quiznak' and a 'Dios mío'. 

The figure looked up to another figure, who nodded. It was irritating how blurry her vision was. Using her free hand, she rubbed her eyes in an attempt to clear her sight. Bringing her hand away, she saw that it was covered in red.

"We're going to take you to a pod, okay Pidge?" 

She hardly registered that he'd spoken, instead holding out her hand to the figure.

"Is that my blood?" She asked, focusing hard on her hand, bringing it closer to her face.

"Yeah."

"Am I bleeding?"

"Yeah, you got hit on the head." 

"I got hit on the head?!" 

"Yes, we're about to take you to a healing pod."

"A healing pod? Am I hurt?"

"You got hit on the head."

"Oh. Am I bleeding?"

"Right - we're going to the pod now! Hunk, help me carry her."


	2. The wait

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faced with Pidge and a healing pod, the other paladins desperately hope that she'll be okay, and that she'll remember.

"D'you think she'll be okay?" Hunk asked, removing his heavily bitten nails from his mouth for a few seconds - even though he was unable to tear his eyes away from the pod where Pidge resided.

"I - I don't know." Shiro responded, his eyes also afixed to the pod as he raked the fingers of his artificial arm up and down his flesh one. The cold contact of metal against skin was somewhat comforting to Shiro's numbness. 

He couldn't get Pidge's reaction to him out of his mind. She'd seemed totally fine at first, but everything seemed to go rapidly downhill and she deteriorated before their very eyes. She looked a mess, pale and sweaty, and bloody, and so very confused and disorientated.

She'd asked the same questions over and over - Who are you? Where am I? Where are we going? What happened? - Shiro had patiently supplied her with the answers each time, trying his best not to sigh when she started from the top with the questions. He hoped that it was only temporary. He prayed that it was only temporary.

"The scans don't seem to show any kind of bleed on the brain, and the pods will heal the wound right up, but I'm not so sure about... Other effects." Coran stated from across the room, as Allura paced back and forth.

She worried immensely for the youngest paladin - she was only a child, after all. It was just a freak accident though, totally by chance. Allura had cursed Pidge under her breath when she'd found out that she'd taken her helmet off, and made a mental note to upgrade the helmets with self cleaning mechanisms - if such a thing existed - so that nothing like this would ever happen again.

"She was bleeding a lot. Are you sure she'll be... Physically okay?" Keith questioned from behind Shiro. He was leaning against the wall, arms folded, but his gaze was focused only on the pod where Pidge remained in her unconsciousness.

When Pidge had said 'Red', Keith's heart skipped a beat. She'd sounded so unsure, so scared, that he'd wanted to throttle Shiro for even thinking that she was kidding, or messing them around. He couldn't choke the words out though, and was scared to get too close to her. 

He was scared that she wouldn't remember anything at all and that he'd have to start over with their relationship. Pidge was better with computers than people - and Keith wasn't good with people full stop. It was by complete chance that they'd come together - in any other situation, one wouldn't have glanced at the other.

But being stuck on this ship, together, in space, it was just nice to have someone to sit with, sometimes. They'd talk about cryptids and conspiracy theories - or maybe they wouldn't talk at all. They'd just sit in comfortable silence as Pidge tinkered away, and Keith just sat.

He furrowed his brows, squinting slightly as he desperately tried to monitor her face for any sign of consciousness, or emotion. He really hoped that she wasn’t in pain. He'd been lucky enough to avoid the pods for this long - choosing to heal the old fashioned away. He'd never wanted to hear about the experience from any of the other paladins either - claiming that it gave him the creeps.

"I think head wounds bleed more than regular wounds, or something." Lance began, slowly, as if he wasn't really sure of his own voice.  
"My cousin once fell off a swing set - scrapped his head up pretty bad, and hit it pretty hard too..." He trailed off, wrinkling his nose slightly.

Lance was sitting at one of the tables in the infirmary, chin in his hands, and elbows resting on the tabletop. Underneath the table his leg was jiggling a mile a minute with the anxiety, making the whole table shake.

"Was he okay?" Keith asked quietly, hoping for a slither of hope that Pidge would be okay, that everything would be absolutely fine.

Lance leaned back in his chair with a sigh, still tapping his foot furiously.  
"It was pretty freaky. He got knocked out, and when he woke up he just kept laughing hysterically. Apparently it's a symptom of concussion, but he can't remember that day at all."  
Lance frowned slightly, glancing over to Pidge's pod, which he'd been avoiding looking at too much, scared that she too would suddenly started hysterically laughing.

He heard Keith sigh deeply, and the light thud as he rested his head on the wall. Lance focused his gaze back on his hands, and started tapping them on the table too, as well as both of his feet on the ground. He couldn't help it - he fidgeted when he was worried. That was a lie - he fidgeted all the time.

"Stop it." Keith muttered quietly under his breath, squeezing his eyes shut. 

"What?" Lance responded, turning his head over to him.

"Knock it off."

"Knock what off?"

"That! Stop bloody... tapping! It's annoying as hell!"

Lance stopped his tapping, suddenly very uncomfortable without any movement in his limbs. He tapped his finger tip on the table lightly, hoping that Keith wouldn't notice. 

"Lance!"

"Guys, shut it." Shiro interrupted, folding his arms, and breaking his gaze on Pidge so he could glare at the red and blue paladins. He then turned to Allura, who had brought up a screen, and was swiping at it, deep in concentration.

"Princess, how much longer?" He asked, as she shut the screen down and walked over to Pidge, scanning her over with her eyes, looking for any other damage.

"Only a few more doboshes. Her wound has healed up very nicely. Just need to clean it up when she gets out and after a bit of rest and time off she should be right as rain." Allura said with a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes as she turned to the other paladins.

"And... What about the memory loss?" Shiro asked, stating the one thing that was on everyone's minds that no one was willing to say. He watched as Allura's face fell and couldn't help but feel somewhat deflated.

"We'll have to wait and see, I'm afraid." She said gravely, her smile morphing into a frown, her eyes looking down to the floor. She wished that she and Coran could do more for the young paladin, during the war they had both been trained as nurses in their contribution to the war effort, so they weren't clueless at all - but they weren't neurologists.

Inside the pod, Pidge seemed so still, and blank. They'd hurried her into the pod as soon as possible - her hair still matted and crimson, her face still speckled with blood. She was still, but not frighteningly so. She didn't look to be in any pain - but at the same time, she didn't have any sort of peaceful expression upon her face. It wasn't as if she was sleeping - it was simply as if she'd been paused. 

"Princess, the scans appear to be all clear." Coran called out from across the room, stepping back from the monitors. Everyone in the room seemed to collectively hold their breath, as Allura exhaled hers.

"Very well, please open the pod." The other paladins hurried over, ready with a chair, and water packs, hoping and praying for the good news. With a hiss, the pod opened, and Pidge fell into Shiro's waiting arms.

He quickly placed her into the chair, and stood back, waiting for her to regain consciousness. She seemed to stir slightly in the chair, almost curling up on herself as Coran rushed over with a tinfoil blanket, handing it to Allura, who wrapped it around her shoulders.

The other paladins crouched around her, Hunk shaking as Lance squeezed his hand. He blamed himself. He thought it was his fault that Pidge was injured, that she might've lost her memory -

Hunk's self depreciation was interrupted as Pidge's eyes fluttered open, squeezed shut, and fluttered open once more.  
She slowly looked around at her surroundings, as the other paladins gave her comforting and encouraging smiles, trying to mask their own fear for the green paladin.

She squeezed her eyes shut once more, furrowing her brows as if in deep thought. Her brown eyes suddenly snapped open as she lurched forward.

"M' gonna be sick." She slurred, as Coran produced a bucket and held it in front of her. White knuckles peeked out from underneath the tinfoil and grabbed hold of the bucket as she leaned forward and painfully deposited the contents of her stomach into it.

"Sorry." She mumbled in between retches, as Lance held her hair out of her face and Allura wiped away her sweat from her forehead with a damp cloth.

Shiro patted her hand comfortingly, attempting to keep a smile plastered across his face. "It's fine, you don't need to be sorry."

He winced as he heard Hunk gag from somewhere behind her, but Pidge didn't hear him, her vision blotchy at best, speckled with bright lights and a ringing in her ears.

"Do you remem-" Shiro interrupted himself, inhaling slightly. There was no point in stressing her out.  
"Are you okay?"

Pidge leaned back in the chair, and Coran removed the bucket. Keith tried to hand her a water pack, but his hand was swatted away. He tried again only to earn a slight glare from a very disorientated Pidge.

"M' just tired." She muttered under her breath, shutting her eyes. Exhaustion flowed through her body, and she desperately hoped a nap could fix it.

"You shouldn't sleep, you might have a concussion."

Pidge frowned in response to this, opening her eyes to squint at him.

"Concussion?" 

Shiro gave a deep sigh, and felt the other paladins deflate, and the mood in the room go quickly downhill.

"Yeah, you-"

He was interrupted by Pidge shutting her eyes again and bluntly stating "M' tired. Going to sleep."

Shiro was exasperated, and looked to Allura for guidance in what he should do. She responded with a shrug, which was exactly no help at all.

"Fine, but only fifteen minutes, okay? After that I'm waking you up."

Pidge responded with a slight nod as she settled into the chair.

"You gonna sleep there?"

"Mmm-hmm."

"Okay then."


	3. The confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge awakens in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people, and nothing seems to make sense. The term 'traumatic brain injury' sounds terrifying, but it's just a small part of the label for what she is experiencing.

"She's not waking up!" Hunk wailed, as he tried to shake Pidge awake. She stirred slightly, but only seemed to further bury herself in the blankets that had been draped over her.  
"No wonder. The pods make you feel like shit, she probably needs all the rest she can get." Lance supplied, placing a hand on Hunk's shoulder in what he hoped was a comforting motion.

"I should've tried to keep her awake," Shiro muttered to himself, gazing over the sleeping figure in the chair.  
"You're not meant to sleep after a head injury." He continued, holding his arms, as if he was keeping himself altogether. 

"Coran said the scans were all clear, no serious damage to the brain-" Allura began, before being interrupted by Keith.  
"-Besides, she was asleep in the pod. I'm sure she's fine."

Allura shot him a quick glare, which Keith ignored completely in favour of the sleeping Pidge.  
"The pods simply... Pause you. It's not like you're sleeping. It's just like you're frozen." She murmured, trying to reassure herself. Putting Pidge in the pods probably hadn't been the best idea, but there was nothing else that they could do for her, not with the state she was in.

"She can't be comfortable, squished up in a chair like that. We should move her to her bed. Somewhere familiar." Lance stated, looking around at the others, as Shiro gave a slight nod, and Keith raised an eyebrow.

"She never sleeps in her bed anyway. I'm sure it wouldn't make much of a difference where she was." The other paladins knew he was right, but no one wanted to admit how little Pidge took care of herself. Maybe if her reaction time had been a little faster - if she was a bit more awake... They couldn't help but worry about the implications of an injury they didn't even know the effects of.

"We have beds in the infirmary. I can't help thinking that she'll end up with an awful crick in the neck of she keeps sleeping like that." Coran chipped in, in a somewhat cheerful tone that seemed awfully misplaced in the current situation.

Shiro shook his head 'no' in response to Coran's suggestion, taking a few steps closer to Pidge.  
"I think she should be in her own room, with all her stuff around her, if she..." He trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud, as if that wouldn't make it true.  
"If she doesn’t remember. It might help her memory a bit."

Murmurs of agreement came from the other paladins, as Shiro enlisted Hunk to help him with the task of carrying Pidge to her room. The two paladins neatly deposited her in her bed, pulling the covers up around her chin. Coran entered a few minutes later, with a damp cloth, setting about cleaning the specks of blood from her head silently.

"I'll get her some water. For when she wakes up." Hunk mumbled to himself, heading to the kitchen, almost scared to be around her. The memories of the event spun around in his head, but it felt even more painful knowing that Pidge might not remember.

Hunk took a deep breath, trying to compose himself. They didn't know the effects yet. She might be absolutely fine.

The key word there was 'might'.

Hunk replayed the incident. Pidge taking her helmet off, the explosion, the dull thud as the jagged rock made harsh contact with her head. His scream. Her silence. She'd just put her helmet back on, given him a thumbs up, and they'd continued evacuating the civilians.

Hunk opened the store cupboard with contained the water packs, staring at all of the silver metallic packets.  
He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to stop the nauseating feeling in his stomach, the dull thud of the rock against her head echoing in his ears.

"Hunk? You in here?" Lance called out into the kitchen, as Hunk hastily opened his eyes, grabbed a water pack and shut the cupboard door with a thud, causing both Lance and Hunk to jump slightly.

"Pidge is stirring a bit, we think she's gonna wake up soon and Shiro wants everyone there. If she doesn't, Allura found some smelling salt things to try and wake her-" Hunk turned to Lance, eyes welling up with tears.  
"Oh, Hunk! Buddy, c'mere." Lance murmured, opening out his arms, and wrapping them around a slightly sniffling Hunk.

"Hey, she's gonna be fine. Don't worry about it." He whispered in what he hoped was a comforting tone.  
"B- But what i- if she's n- not?" Hunk choked out, his voice wavering wildly as Lance rubbed soothing circles on his back.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it. But right now, we just need to be there for her, okay?" Hunk nodded into Lance's shoulder, as he patted him on the back and unwrapped his arms.  
"Come on, let's go." He murmured, taking Hunk's hand and leading him out of the kitchen. He desperately hoped that the yellow paladin couldn't sense his own severe anxiety about the situation.

The pair headed to Pidge's room in silence, the door sliding open to let them in. It was strange - usually they had to knock, wait for Pidge to clear a path to the door, and open it slightly, asking who it was and what they wanted. They almost felt like they were intruding on her personal space, like they really didn't want to be here. 

Upon seeing the pale faced green paladin lying simply on the bed, the feelings melted away - replaced with fear, and a desire to shake her awake, scream in her ear, anything to get those big brown eyes to open up and for Pidge to tell them "Get out of my room" without missing a beat. The unconscious paladin was much more unnerving though.

Allura sat on a chair next to the bed, holding a small vile in her hands, knuckles clenched, and teeth gritted. Shiro's hand rested on her shoulder, a look of agitation plastered across his usually calm and stotic face.

Coran hovered, as did Keith, though he was clearly trying to hide his concern behind folded arms and a blank expression. The rooms were small, and the seven of them hardly fitted, but all of them wanted to be there. 

The other paladins had broken bones before, gotten scrapes and wounds, but there had never been any serious secondary effects - nothing like this. There had been illness - fevers and stomach bugs and the like, but it was usually all over within a few days, the paladins quickly back to health.

Coran had described Pidge as having a "Traumatic brain injury" - and as scary as that sounded, Allura assured them it was just another term for a concussion, and the memory loss could've just been a symptom of the concussion, and not a sign of... Something else.

A collective breath was held in the room as Pidge's fingers seemed to twitch and tremble slightly. Allura quickly grabbed her hand and squeezed it tight, hoping to give Pidge some kind of reassurance.

Brown eyes flickered open, like a light bulb after not being turned on for a while, and scanned around the room, surveying her surroundings. Her senses seemed to come in one at a time.

She could feel something squeezing her hand, but she was too tired to turn and see who or what it was.  
She could hear others breathing in the room - she guessed it was quite a small space and there were quite a few people, but again, she felt too groggy to turn her head.  
She could taste the highly unpleasant flavour of vomit in her mouth. Had she just vomited? Was she about to vomit?  
And she could see someone looming over her, out of the corner of her vision. She couldn't focus on them properly - everything seemed to be blurry, her vision swimming.

"-idge?" An unfamiliar yet not new voice mumbled. They probably weren't mumbling at all - probably talking very clearly, but the ringing in her ears made it incredibly difficult to decipher their words. She furrowed her brow, trying to make sense of the single syllable, which for some reason she could hardly remember.

"-idge?" The voice repeated - this time sounding more frantic. She tried to decipher the word once more, but again, it seemed to slip through her fingers and she couldn't quite remember anything, apart from her hand being squeezed.  
Maybe she should just focus on that?

She painstakingly tilted her head to the side, gazing down at her hand. She was incredibly surprised to see another intertwined with hers. She wanted to rip it away, but she couldn't find the energy and the thoughts seemed to lose her. Everything seemed to be going at quarter speed, in painful slow motion as she gathered fragments and tried not to lose them.

"W'here m'?" She choked out, words escaping her mouth, but not in the way that she wanted them to. She furrowed her brow, deciding to try again.  
"W'he- W'here I m'?" She exhaled heavily, feeling frustrated that the words wouldn't come out as she wanted them to.

"Where am I?" A new voice helpfully suggested. She seemed to be able to decipher their words now - that was nice. She gave a grunt in confirmation, hoping that would be enough prompt for her to get an answer.

"You're in your room." It was an answer - but an incredibly unhelpful one at that, considering she had no idea who 'you' was. She squeezed her eyes shut, as if it was an incredibly painful thought, causing the hand to release her, and instead begin gently shaking her shoulder.

"Who m' I?" She spat out, in a somewhat more coherent fashion.  
"Who are you? Or who am I?" The helpful voice supplied again. She liked this voice. It was tedious having to decipher her words though - she didn't like that part at all.  
She opened her eyes, and everything had seemed to stop swimming, and it was a bit less fuzzy too - that was nice.  
"Me! 'ho m' I?" She asked again, hoping the voice would give her a clear and somewhat useful answer this time. 

She heard someone give a sigh, and she rolled her head over further, straining her eyes as she looked over the room and it's occupants. All of them looked highly unfamiliar individually - but together...  
It was a strange feeling to describe, it wasn't recognition - but it was something like that. Maybe.

There was someone sitting on a chair next to her, with silvery hair and dark skin. Next to her was someone crouching with a weak smile across their face, and a white streak in their hair.

Hovering behind them was a man dressed in blue with orange hair and an orange mustache. Next to him was a large yellow lump and a stick figure brown lump and a streak of red in the distance.

Her descriptions grew cruder, more basic as her vision began to blur again. She shut her eyes again, trying to regain her sight, as she felt something drip down her cheeks. She opened her eyes as she slowly raised a hand to her face, shaking fingertips coming away wet. Tears? Was she crying?

"Oh, Pidge, don't cry." A voice shuddered. She looked around trying to find which blob was the source, her efforts interrupted as someone wrapped their arms around her.

Upon hearing those words, Pidge started sobbing uncontrollably out of frustration and anguish over the fact that she couldn't remember a single thing and her body wasn't working the way she wanted it too. Her voice cracked, her vision blurred, and every limb felt like it was made of lead and shook violently as she tried to lift it. Was she sick? Was she ill? Did she have a disease? Had she been injured?

"It's okay, Pidge. It'll be okay." The voice murmured, as Pidge gasped for air.  
"M' Pidge?" She asked, in between shaking sobs. Was that her name? Who was holding her? She had so many questions but her mind didn't seem to be able to process them, everything going far too slowly.

"Yeah, you're Pidge. And I'm Shiro." The figure let go of her, standing back.  
"This is Allura, and Coran." He said, gesturing to the people closest to him, as Pidge nodded, trying to remember their names.

"The yellow one is Hunk, and next to him is Lance. That's Keith over there." Pidge shut her eyes, desperately trying to retain the information. Shiro, Allura, Coran, Hunk, Lance and Keith. Shiro, Allura, Coran, Hunk, Lance and Keith. 

She repeated the names in her head over and over like a mantra. She knew these names must've graced her mind before, as they didn't sound totally alien to her - but at the same time, she still couldn't remember any of them.

"And you're Pidge." Shiro reiterated.

"M' Pidge." She repeated, before her face crumbled and she broke into a fresh set of sobs. 

"Why don't I rem'ber? I can't rem'ber any of you!" She wailed, in between shuddering breaths. Someone was squeezing her hand again, she looked only to find Allura with a weak smile on her face that didn’t quite reach sad eyes.

"It's okay, it'll be okay. It's entirely possible that you'll regain your memories." Allura murmured in a soothing tone, patting her hand.

"Wha' if I don't?" Pidge asked, brown eyes wide with panic.

"It'll be okay." She looked away for a brief moment, before focusing her gaze back on Pidge. 

"Do you want some water?" A new voice asked. She looked up only to see a larger figure walking to her, with some sort of metallic packet in his hands. Pidge nodded uncertainly, as she searched for his name, still feeling incredibly disorientated, and in shock at losing her memory.

"Thank you... Hunk?" She mumbled, taking the packet from him, turning it over in her hands, trying to read the alien language on it. Could she not read anymore? The concept seemed terrifying to her, but also hilarious at this same time.

He responded with a simple smile.  
"It's okay, Pidge. You need to pop the straw out then you can drink it." 

Following his instructions, Pidge got the straw out and gave him a grateful smile as she drank the liquid, not realising how incredibly thirsty she was. 

"You should get some rest now, okay? It's important in helping you to heal." Shiro stated, placing a hand on Allura's shoulder. Pidge nodded, feeling incredibly fatigued all of a sudden.

The empty packet was taken from her hands as her eyelids drooped shut, and everything was enveloped in the peaceful black of nothingness.


	4. The discovery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge tries to piece together a personality from memories that she doesn’t have, and objects that aren't hers. Who knew a blank canvas would be so difficult?

Memories came to her in bits and pieces - useless fragments that she had to fit together somehow to find an even more useless memory. It was frustrating. She wavered in and out of sleep - never fully conscious, but at the same time, never not there.

Her dreams were where she found refuge. In her dreamworld there was no confusion, no questions that couldn't be answered - nothing that couldn't be understood or figured out. But when she awoke, everything was too dark or too bright or too quiet, or just too strange.

She thought how strange it was to not remember her own name. The word 'Pidge' seemed to leave a bitter aftertaste in her mouth, it was as if it wasn't her word - but they'd told her that. So it must be right?

Or perhaps not. She'd put her faith in these complete strangers and had willingly believed whatever vague answers they had been gratuitous enough to supply her with. She knew scarcely more than their names, and yet they seemed to know more about herself than she did.

It was such a scary thought. So frightening, and she'd have given anything for some familiarity. None of the fragments seemed to match up with this place or these people. It was strange things - lush green fields, brown hair cascading into a sink, and kind chestnut eyes looking back at her, the emotion somewhat pixelated.

So when 'Pidge' had drifted into the conscious realm for what seemed like the umpteenth time, a feeling of relief passed through her - like a breath of fresh air, when she found herself alone. The room was dark, but there was a dim light eminating from one corner of the room. She gingerly propped herself on her pillows, and slowly twisted her legs so they were off the bed and dangling a few centimetres from the floor.

She carefully tried to edge herself off of the bed to further investigate the light, pausing when she found herself painfully stiff. Taking a deep breath, she continued on with her quest, freezing in her tracks when she heard something clatter to the floor by her feet.

Cursing to herself about the loud noise, she bent down, her fingertips grazing over the object. She picked it up with shaking hands, as was surprised to find what looked like a tablet. She turned it over in her hands, before searching for an on button.

Discovering one on the side, she pressed it, only to have the screen flicker to life - a painfully bright light shining right into her eyes - stark, and unignorable in the darkened room.

Through squinting eyes, she noticed rows of tiny black words on the screen, like a line of ants marching across. It was difficult to read through her blurry, tired eyes, so she was quite pleased when she discovered that she could pinch the screen to zoom in.

She mouthed the words as she read, trying to comprehend the meaning, and keep it in her mind.

'Hi Pidge,' the text began, in a friendly manner.

'We've let you sleep all day because we thought you needed the rest - and also you weren't making much sense in the intervals when you did wake up. You've had a nasty head injury, and you need time to recover.'

'Hunk (Yellow one) made you some food, it's on the desk if you're hungry. It might look a bit weird, but it's totally safe to eat, and it tastes pretty good too.'

Pidge glanced across to the aforementioned desk, noting the bowl of food. She couldn't see its contents, but the warning hadn't eased her anxiety.

'We know you probably have a lot of questions, but Shiro is right across the hall and he has a purple sticker on his door, and he'll be listening out for you, so if anything is wrong at all, go and find him - he'll probably be awake.'

'Lance is down the corridor on the left, he has a blue sticker on his door, and Keith is across from him, he has a red sticker on his door. Hunk is up the corridor on the right, he has a yellow sticker, and the kitchen is opposite. Allura's room is at the end of the corridor, she has a pink sticker, and Coran is next to hers with the orange sticker. The control room is also down that end, and the common area and the training deck are all on the second floor.'

'We know it's going to be really confusing and weird, but we're all here for you, and we're gonna make sure that you get better, whether or not that means regaining your memories.'

'We'll explain anything you want, but it's all a bit crazy and this letter is probably too long to read.'

'Rest well, eat, drink, sleep, and don't do anything stupid. We're all thinking of you.  
\- Your friends xx'

The last line made Pidge feel an incredible twinge of guilt. They were her friends - or they were supposed to be, anyway - and she couldn't remember anything about them. She scoured her brain for the last thing she remembered, but there was simply a blur of bright lights and strong arms, and an awful pain that has somehow vanished - not that she was complaining, of course. 

It also raised far more questions, to add to an ever growing list. If these people weren't her family - where was her family? Were they even on earth? Did they know she was gone? That she didn't remember?

Pidge couldn't help but feel somewhat deflated and absolutely helpless as she placed the tablet on the floor, and brought her knees to her chin - wrapping her arms around her small frame.

Everything seemed so blank. She wondered what kind of person she'd been, and if she was still there, even if everything else had been stripped away. Sighing gently, Pidge picked up the tablet and turned it on again, the screen illuminating the room.

She used it as a torch, trying to discover something - anything - about herself. Or rather, who she used to be. Who she is. She didn't know.

Pidge saw piles of what seemed like circuit boards and random bits of machinery scattered around the floor, shoved into corners. Rising from her bed, using random bits of furniture to support her, she slowly made her way across the room, path illuminated by the glowing light of the LCD screen.

She scanned her eyes over the desk, ignoring the bowl of extremely unappealing food, coloured a strange brownish yellow, not unlike baby diarrhoea. She shuddered slightly at the that thought. Yuck.

She sorted through papers, filled with numbers and calculations and none of it seemed to make sense. Pidge felt as if she was intruding on someone else's space, that she was going through someone else's stuff. 'It's YOUR stuff,' She kept trying to reassure herself - 'You're allowed to look through it.'

After thoroughly messing up the top of the desk, (She sincerely hoped that there wasn't some sort of intricate system that she might remember later) she started on the desk drawers. Mostly finding food wrappers and screwed up bits of paper and screws - so many screws - Pidge was about to give up before she hit the jackpot.

Shoved to the very back of the third drawer, she found the sacred item - a small red leather notebook with the words 'Diary' embossed on the front in a loopy gold font.

Giddy with excitement, she found herself able to quickly disregard the fact that she was reading through a strangers' diary in the hopes of finding some answers.

She opened the first page, raising an eyebrow as a picture fluttered out from in between the pages. She decided that she'd get it later, in favour of reading the small notebook.

'Dear diary,' The first page started, in the same handwriting she'd seem scrawled binary written in.

'My name is Katie Anne Holt and I am thirteen years old-'

Pidge was interrupted by a light knock on the door, causing her to slam the notebook shut, and fling it into the open drawer carelessly before slamming it shut. The photograph had skidded underneath the desk - hidden from sight.

The knock sounded again, this time a little louder.

"Pidge? Are you all right?" A voice questioned, muffled by the door. She tried to match the voice to a name - to a face - but her efforts were in vain.

"Y- Yes! I'm fine!" She choked out, her heart racing, as more questions spun around her head. Who was Katie? Who the hell was Katie? Had she been snooping in someone else's stuff?

"Are you sure?" The voice responded, an edge of concern clearly present.  
"I'm making tea. Would you like some?"

"No... No thank you."

"Okay, if you decide you do, I'll be in the kitchen."

"Uh huh, thanks."

She waited for footsteps to thud up the corridor, but was met by painful silence.

"It's Shiro, by the way." The voice added, now with a name, and what she believed to be the correct face.

"Yeah." 

Another moment of silence passed, and she finally heard those footsteps, padding into the distance, leaving her to let out a breath that she didn't know she'd been holding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for reading so far!! Comments are so greatly appreciated and they really do make my day ♡ Love you all - stay strong, safe, and beautiful xx


	5. The static

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing seems to make much sense - and questions seem to raise more of themselves than they do answers. Everything seems to be a foggy static, until it all becomes very painfully clear.

Confusion overwhelmed her as she found a strange comfort in her own loneliness and solitude. She didn't know these people. She could not remember these people. She couldn't remember herself - but that was besides the point.

They hadn't seemed to tell her anything of any considerable usefulness, and that was strange. They'd told her that she'd had a heard injury - but that had raised far more questions that it had answered, as Pidge felt no injury apart from a slight ache on the left side of her head. Very minor, though. It seemed odd that she would've developed amnesia from such an injury.

Pidge tiptoed around the room, fingertips grazing the wall in a feeble attempt to support her tired body as she searched for a light switch. She stumbled on something strewn on the floor, and smacked her hands into the metal wall to stop herself from falling. The lights suddenly turned on - bright, and very much unforgiving.

Pidge gingerly moved her hands, wondering if she'd hit a light switch. Finding nothing but cold hard metal, Pidge slapped the wall again, wondering if the entire wall was the switch. The lights flicked off. Pidge nodded to herself, deciding to test her hypothesis.

She then pushed the wall with her hand, bracing herself for the bright lights, and giving a gentle 'Hm.' When she was met with darkness. Hypothesis incorrect. That's okay - that was okay - she could figure this out.

She slapped the wall again, turning the lights on. She inspected the wall, and her hands, trying to discover how the lights worked. Maybe she really did just have to slap the wall?

She slapped the wall again, turning the lights off, it seemed amusing, if extremely inconvenient and inefficient. The door suddenly slid open behind her, and Pidge turned to face the figure - who was once again, Shiro. Pidge wondered if they had a closer relationship than she did with the others. Not in like a gross romantic way - because he looked about 30 and Pidge assumed herself to be about 13? 14? She couldn't really tell. She was quickly brought out of her thoughts by Shiro racing forward and gripping her shoulders, eyes staring into hers. 

"Pidge! Are you okay? What was all that crashing around? Did you hurt yourself?" Shiro looked her up and down - noticing her angry red palms.  
"What happened to your hands? Did you fall?"  
Pidge shook her head, shrugging his hands off of her shoulders, not appreciating his sudden contact. Shiro allowed his arms to drop limply by his sides as Pidge looked away.

"I was just trying to figure out the lights." 

Shiro's face softened into a tired smile, as he gave an awkward chuckle. Pidge didn't seem to understand what was so funny.

"They're clapper lights."

"What?"

"You clap to turn them on and off. See?"

Shiro demonstrated by clapping, plunging the pair into darkness. He then clapped again, turning the lights back on.

"Oh." Pidge mumbled, leaning against the wall. All the flashing lights weren't doing wonders for her wellbeing, and Pidge could feel a dull ache starting to creep it's way across her forehead.

"You okay? You should really get some sleep - it's late."

"I've slept enough."

Pidge shut her eyes, leaning against the wall as she felt Shiro's presence shift. She heard the door slide open once more, and wondered if Shiro was leaving. Her hopes were quickly dashed as she heard yet more footsteps pad into the room.

"You guys alright in here? I saw the lights flashing on and off. Are you having a rave or something?" The owner of the footsteps said.  
Pidge thought that she recognised the voice as Hunk, and opened her eyes, secretly pleased to see that she was correct.

"We're all good. Just showing Pidge how the lights work. And trying to convince her to go to bed."   
The aforementioned shot Shiro a dirty look, which he didn't notice. Hunk, however, did - and gave a breezy laugh.

"Oh, c'mon Shiro. That's a bit hypocritical, don't you think? How long has it been since YOU slept?" Hunk responded casually.

Shiro sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck, as Hunk tutted mockingly.  
"Right, off to bed with you." Hunk said as he ushered Shiro out of the door, before turning to Pidge.

He seemed so much less daunting than he had before, now that he wasn't passing a water pack to her with shaking hands and tearful eyes. He'd made her food, after all. Strange looking and quite possibly inedible food, but still food all the same. Pidge decided that Hunk was good.

As if he could read her mind, Hunk chipped in with a:  
"Did you eat the food I left you?"  
Pidge opened her mouth to give an answer, before closing it and shaking her head.

She swore that she saw a look of disappointment grace his facial features for a moment, but it was quickly replaced with a brief smile.

"You must be starving - come on, let's go to the kitchen."

Hunk led Pidge to the kitchen, babbling some nonsense about food. He sat her down at the breakfast bar, and then sat down across from her, suppling the two of them with bowls filled with a green and pink gooey substance.

Pidge gingerly poked with her spork, looking to Hunk for guidance on what to do. He seemed to be snaffling it down with ease, and gave her an encouraging nod. Pidge looked back down at the ominous substance in her bowl. When was the last time she'd eaten? She somehow didn't feel hungry at all.

"So - do you remember... Anything? Do you remember... me at all?" Hunk asked. Pidge looked up, only to be met with sad, brown eyes. The look of desperation across his face made Pidge's heart ache. She couldn't bear to disappoint him.

"Of course I remember you!" She exclaimed, albeit a little too forcefully.  
Hunk looked excited, and leaned forward.  
"Really? What do you remember?" He asked, his eyes shining.

Pidge blinked a few times, desperately trying to come up with an answer.  
"I know how much you like..." She looked him up and down, her eyes drawn to his bright mustard coloured pyjamas.

"How much you like yellow! And food - and uh..."

Pidge wracked her brain for some kind of sliver of a memory.

"... Water?" 

Hunk sighed limply, reaching out to pat Pidge's hand comfortingly.

"It's okay, Pidge. It doesn't matter. I'm sorry."

Pidge tugged her hand away, placing it into her lap as she focused her gaze on the bright food sitting in front of her.

"Everyone keeps saying that." She murmured softly, rubbing her hand over the other, feeling every vein, bone, bump, scar. It frustrated her that she didn't know where the scars had come from.

"I just... It's just so weird. And scary. I don't remember anyone. How I feel about anyone." She gave a forced and high pitched laugh, which caused Hunk to wince.

"Heck, you could be trying to poison me right now and I wouldn't know."

"Pidge, I promise that I am not trying to poison you."

"Yeah, but I wouldn't know. I don't know where I am. I don't know who you are - who any of you are - who I am."

She gave a light and airy shrug, as if she was trying to toss the weight of the world off of her shaking shoulders.  
"It's scary."

Hunk nodded, and murmured something that Pidge couldn't quite hear.

"Sorry, what?" She asked, looking up, as her hands fidgeted in her lap and her legs began to shake.

He murmured something again, but she still didn't catch it. She blinked a few times, noticing how blurry her vision was, and the nausea forming in her stomach. Oh God, she really hoped that she wasn’t going to puke again. She sincerely doubted that she had anything left to throw up.

Pidge attempted to rise from her stool, only to feel every part of her body stiffen, as if glued down. Was she moving? She didn't feel like she was moving.

"Pidge! What's wrong?" 

His voice cut through the static, as Pidge felt her chest tightening. She tried to take a breath, but ended gasping out feebly.

Hunk immediately leapt into action, rushing to her side, and wrapping his arms around her, as he gently tried to lower her to the floor. Pidge desperately tried to respond to him, extremely frightened by... Whatever the hell was going on. She ended up choking out some gargling noises, and Hunk tried to comfort her, bringing her slowly down to the ground, while shushing her and stroking her hair.

Pidge's eyes seemed to roll back into her head as she lost consciousness - feeling black seeping into her lungs as she struggled to breathe, desperately gasping for air like a fish out of water.

Hunk swore to himself, reaching up to the emergency alarm on the wall and slamming it hard with his fist.  
"Pidge! Seizure! Kitchen!" He managed to gasp out between the pauses of the blaring alarm.

He quickly knelt back down next to Pidge, desperately trying to remember what the hell to do when someone was having a seizure. He watched helplessly as she thrashed her legs and arms around wildly, hitting the floor, hitting the furniture, hitting him -

Tears began to pour down his cheeks as he grasped Pidge's cold and clammy - and still convulsing hand. He heard footsteps run into the kitchen behind him, and watched as Lance skidded to the ground, across from Hunk, gripping her other hand with both of his, and holding it to his lips, muttering rapidly in Spanish.

Hunk watched out of the corner of his eye as Pidge's head was lifted, and pale, shaking hands slipped a red wad of fabric underneath. He looked up to find Keith's face with gritted teeth and big black circles underneath his eyes.

He glanced back down to Pidge, noticing her face going a pale blue as beads of sweat ran down her forehead. He heard shrieks and murmurs from somewhere behind him, but they seemed to be a million miles away.

Everyone watched with baited breaths for Pidge's convulsions to slow into gentle twitches, and finally into painfully still unconsciousness. Hunk and Lance released Pidge's hands, as Coran and Allura moved in, settling her into recovery position as she took shallow and shuddering breaths. 

Hunk shuffled back, bringing his knees to his chest as he watched tears roll down Keith's face, as skinny shaking tan fingers tried to wipe them away, as his body was enveloped in those of Shiro and Lance as he sobbed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this chapter ♡ I love you all and hope you are doing well c:  
> Comments and Kudos are really really appreciated!! Xx
> 
> Pidge's seizure was down to low blood sugar and not the injury - which will be explained more in the next chapter ♡ I've actually experienced a tonic-clonic seizure (As described) due to hypoglycaemia (I'm not diabetic! I just hadn't eaten for ages.) And I gotta tell you mate - it is not pleasant. Long story short, I ended up with a with a whole lot of pretty gnarly bruises and a massive headache. First and last (hopefully!) Seizure I've ever had. 
> 
> I'm all good now, though! So please enjoy the chapter ♡


	6. The awakening

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'His enthusiasm seemed to be infectious, the forcefully happy facade seeming to creep into all of their own composures, making everything seem a little brighter - a little clearer.'
> 
> Pidge awakes after the seizure, though the other paladins still don't know if she's better or worse.

Time seemed to stand still in a painful curtsey as silence echoed around the room. The only sounds to be heard were those of muffled sobs and the uncomfortable shuffle of feet, as they all desperately searched for the words to say that would make it all better. There she lay, on the floor - unmoving, but still breathing - her pulse still racing. Coran's fingers were gently pressed against the cool paleness of her skin, his eyes focused on the ticker in his other hand, eyebrows furrowed. 

"It's a little fast, but I daresay she'll be alright." He murmured out in a low tone, as if not to disturb the unconscious girl on the floor. 

"It's worse than we thought." Lance muttered through gritted teeth, his head hung low as he unwrapped himself from Keith. "I think there's something seriously wrong." Though no one wanted to admit it - but it was what they were all thinking. She'd had a concussion. She'd gotten amnesia. And now what? Permanent brain damage? Internal bleeding? No ons wanted to know the extent of her injuries. They just wanted Pidge back, alive and well - or as well as they could get her.

"Don't say that! Coran said there wasn't anything wrong on the scan - right, Coran? Right?" Hunk snapped from the floor with tearful eyes as he desperately tried to reassure himself. He couldn't break his gaze on the girl, his heart racing as he desperately hoped that nothing was seriously wrong. He watched the slow rise and fall of her chest, and the gentle twitch of her fingers. He couldn't lose her. Her couldn't lose all of her.

"The scans were clear... I... I'm sorry, I don't know what else to say." Coran admitted to the room, defeated, as he let go of her wrist, placing it gently onto the ground. No one had dared to move her. It was almost as if she was a fragile porcelain doll - far too delicate for them to even look at without shattering her into a million pieces.

Allura paused from running her delicate brown fingers through Pidge's hair, and looked up at the others with pursed lips.  
"We could try the pod again...?" She questioned, obviously very unsure of what exactly she should do.

Lance opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted by a quiet groan from the ground. Keith broke away from Shiro's chest, turning to the source of the sound with tearful eyes. Shiro gripped his shoulders firmly as his gaze focused solely on the girl on the floor.

On the ground, Pidge seemed to stir slightly - eyes squeezing further shut before chapped blueish lips opened and hoarsely muttered out a few painful words.

"No pods. 'M fine." 

The paladins immediately rushed to her side, gripping her hands with theirs, white knuckles and tearful eyes seemed to say more than words ever could as those beautiful, beautiful hazel eyes flickered open - tired, but still with that telltale inquisitive glow.

"Pidge! Pidge! Can you hear me? Are you okay?" Shiro seemed to almost yell, making Pidge wince and shut her eyes again. 

"Yes, I can hear you. You don't need to scream." She slurred slightly in that wonderfully Pidge - like tone, opening her eyes again and blinking at all the faces hovering over her.

"You're a bit close."

"Sorry - sorry, Pidge." Shiro murmured, backing away slightly as the others did the same.

"Where am I, anyway?" 

"Does she remember?" Lance whispered harshly to Hunk, the latter responding with a frown and a shrug. Pidge gave an irritable sigh as she attempted to hoist herself up onto her elbows, before giving up and lying back down on the jacket. 

"Do I remember what?" She asked quizzically, with a raised eyebrow, though it made her wince. 

"Remember us - Remember... Remember what happened..." Hunk mumbled quietly, almost not wanting to be heard as he was distinctly afraid of the answer that she might give. 

"... What happened?" She asked, shutting her eyes again. She was so tired, and all of this conversation really seemed to be taking it's toll on her. All she wanted was to sleep - but right now, there was far too much to decipher and figure out. They were asking her if she remembered, when she wasn't even sure that she'd forgotten.

"You had a seizure." Keith supplied, his voice wavering wildly, as he kept his arms wrapped tightly around himself in a defensive fashion. She turned her head to look at him, and before he turned away she saw those telltale tear tracks running down his cheeks.

"Why are you crying?" She asked, furrowing her eyebrows and momentarily shutting her eyes. Keith kept his mouth shut, not wanting to offer her an answer. Shiro instead spoke for him. "He's just really worried for you. We all are."

Pidge didn't offer any kind of sign that she'd heard him, keeping her eyes closed. They wondered if she'd slipped into unconsciousness again, or if she'd fallen asleep. Though they understood that her body needed rest, they couldn't help wishing that she would just hurry up and get into a semi-conscious state so they could assess the extent of her condition. Each minute they spent not knowing seemed to only cause more pain.

Allura reached out a hand to nudge her shoulder gently. She didn't look to be in a peaceful unconsciousness as she had been earlier, her face seemed screwed up, almost contorted in which they all hoped was not pain.

"Pidge?"

The aforementioned simply shook her head in response, not opening her eyes.

"What's wrong?"

Those bright hazel eyes seemed to shoot open, full of panic and desperation, almost taking everyone aback as shaking hands pushed her frail form off of the ground as she breathed heavily.

"I'm gonna throw up - " She gasped out before turning to the side and coughing onto the floor. Allura rubbed her back in comforting circles as she shook and coughed bitterly, keeping her upright as she wavered madly. Pidge wrapped her hands around her stomach, trying to hold herself together.

Lance had fetched a cool damp cloth from somewhere, pressing it to Pidge's head as he knelt down next to her. He shushed her gently in a brotherly manner that somehow seemed very familiar to her. 

She remembered a fragment, someone else rubbing her back and pressing a cold cloth to her forehead. As soon as the memory appeared it seemed to disappear again, leaving her to mentally grasp the open air as she desperately tried to decipher her own mind.

Her train of thought was interrupted by another retch and a harsh cough, causing the others to wince. Though she was feeling intense nausea - nothing seemed to come up except spit and bile and a little bit of blood from biting her tongue.

"Nothing's coming up!" She whined, leaning back into Allura, and closing her eyes once more. She took deep shaking breaths as if she couldn't get enough air. She hardly had the energy to breathe.

A straw was pressed to her lips and she opened her eyes lazily to meet Hunk's own concerned ones. "It's no wonder. You haven't eaten anything." He murmured softly, as she looked at him through half lidded eyes. She turned away from the straw, but Hunk still persisted, almost shoving it in her face.

"Please, Pidge. It's got added electrolytes. Your body chemistry is probably all whack from being in the pod and not eating." Sighing, Pidge took the pouch with shaking hands, sipping from it gently. Satisfied, Hunk seemed to back away, rising to his feet from his crouched position.

"Should we take her back to bed? Let her get some more rest?" Shiro asked cautiously, removing his hands from Keith's shoulders as the red paladin had seemingly been able to regain his composure.

Coran shook his head lightly in response to this, retrieving Keith's crumpled jacket from the floor and handing it to Keith, who took it and held it close to his chest.

"It's probably best if we set her up in the infirmary, at least for now. I'll do a check of the vitals, make sure there's no serious physical issues." Coran glanced over to Pidge, who had seemingly fallen asleep once more, her head almost buried in Allura's masses of silvery hair.

"It's not morning yet, so we should all probably try to get what rest we can. Though I shouldn't like to leave her alone..."

"I'll keep watch." Keith interjected quickly.  
"Are you sure that's a good idea?" Shiro whispered to him harshly. Keith seemed to ignore him, in favour of straightening out his jacket.

"Whoa! You can't leave mullet alone with her! He'll probably try to fight her or something!" Lance unhelpfully supplied, in a much louder tone than he had originally intended. Allura shushed him, gesturing to the sleeping Pidge. Lance covered his mouth with his hands, before removing them and mouthing 'sorry'.

"Seriously though - if he's going on Pigeon watch, I'm gonna be there too. The rest of you should get some sleep." He nodded to Hunk. "Especially you, you look exhausted."

Hunk sighed heavily, hoping that the intense red-blue 'rivalry' wouldn't disturb Pidge. Though he wanted to be there when she woke up properly, and find out exactly what memories of them all she still held, it was true - he was exhausted.

Shiro nodded slowly, deciding that at least Keith wouldn't be alone. Though he knew he wouldn't be able to sleep, moments between Lance and Keith were few and far between, and he didn't want to intrude on the two of them, and an unconscious Pidge, of course.

Coran clapped his hands together lightly.   
"Right, three and one help me out with moving our green paladin. Four and two, please run on ahead and make sure there's a bed all set up. Come on - chop chop!" 

His enthusiasm seemed to be infectious, the forcefully happy facade seeming to creep into all of their own composures, making everything seem a little brighter - a little clearer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boy howdy have I had zero motivation to write anything lately. I think I have maybe seven works in progress? And a whole list of ideas to get through. I don't seem to have enough time or energy to get anything down on paper (Or screen! )  
> In two weeks I will be free though, so hopefully then there will be a flurry of shit fics!  
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, and if you did, (Or even if you didn’t) please do leave a comment!! Xx


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